{"id":195,"date":"2019-05-17T09:54:17","date_gmt":"2019-05-17T14:54:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/?p=195"},"modified":"2019-05-20T14:58:09","modified_gmt":"2019-05-20T19:58:09","slug":"her-decisions-made-her-an-outsider-but-this-single-mother-doesnt-feel-alone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/her-decisions-made-her-an-outsider-but-this-single-mother-doesnt-feel-alone\/","title":{"rendered":"Her decisions made her an outsider, but this single mother doesn\u2019t feel alone"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignfull\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1500\" height=\"950\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/Stacy2.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-110\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/Stacy2.jpg 1500w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/Stacy2-300x190.jpg 300w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/Stacy2-768x486.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/Stacy2-1024x649.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns alignwide has-2-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-style-large is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p>A divorced mother of four, Jan-Juba Arway is about to earn a master\u2019s degree at Syracuse University. She knows she\u2019s ostracized in her own Sudanese community, and she\u2019s OK with that.<br><br><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"font-size:17.5px\">A high-risk pregnancy and 38-hour drive pushed Jan-Juba Arway to divorce her abusive husband, despite knowing she\u2019d be ostracized in her community because if it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio\"><audio controls src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/STACYAUDIO_FINAL.mp3\"><\/audio><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>By Stacy Fern\u00e1ndez<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s Christmas in May in Jan-Juba Arway\u2019s house. A \u201cHappy Holidays\u201d decal adorns a wall in the living room with five stockings around it, one for Arway and each of her kids. A Christmas tree topped by a glittery gold star anchors a corner of the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns alignfull has-2-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-2 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"701\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_01-1024x701.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-208\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_01-1024x701.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_01-300x205.jpg 300w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_01-768x526.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_01.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption>Jan-Juba Arway shares a moment with her daughters Ajok &#8220;Jojo&#8221; Mil (left) and Aluel &#8220;Lola&#8221; Mil before chastising Jojo for still being in her school uniform. (Stacy Fernandez\/NextGenRadio)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"705\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_08-1024x705.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-213\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_08-1024x705.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_08-300x207.jpg 300w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_08-768x529.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_08.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption>Five months after Christmas, the family&#8217;s holiday decorations are still up. Between taking care of four children on her own and completing a master&#8217;s program, Arway just hasn&#8217;t had the time. &#8220;We&#8217;re just going to ride it until next year,&#8221; Arway said about the festive decor. (Stacy Fernandez\/NextGenRadio)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Last month was Christmas in April, and before that, Christmas in March. It\u2019s not a tradition. With four kids and a thesis to write, Arway just hasn\u2019t had time to take it all down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote alignfull is-style-solid-color\"><blockquote><p>\u201cI\u2019m doing all this by myself,\u201d said Arway. \u201cThere\u2019s no man living in this house, and we still have the lights on.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"218\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_05-218x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-211\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_05-218x300.jpg 218w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_05-768x1059.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_05-743x1024.jpg 743w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_05.jpg 1088w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 218px) 100vw, 218px\" \/><figcaption>A portrait of Jan-Juba Arway outside of her home in Syracuse, NY. (Stacy Fernandez\/NextGenRadio)<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>The kids come home from school and beeline for the kitchen. The microwave whirs, dishes clank, and everyone prepares snacks for themselves. The boys break into a minute of laughter. One of the girls goes to her room to change out of her school uniform. Everyone does chores throughout the week. No clean dishes, no laptop. Messy room, no TV. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cShe\u2019s very strict,\u201d said Angel \u201cBooboo\u201d Mil, Arway\u2019s second youngest kid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c\u2018Cause you guys don\u2019t listen, that\u2019s why she\u2019s strict,\u201d the oldest, Aluel \u201cLola\u201d Mil, interjected. \u201cShe says do your homework, you do the opposite.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Booboo said that day was opposite day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_02-666x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-209\" width=\"333\" height=\"512\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_02-666x1024.jpg 666w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_02-195x300.jpg 195w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_02-768x1180.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_02.jpg 976w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px\" \/><figcaption>A portrait of Jan-Juba Arway from December 2002 when she was engaged to the father of her four children. (Courtesy of Jan-Juba Arway)<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Lola is Arway\u2019s \u201cmini-me.\u201d She makes sure her siblings have eaten, picks up chores they \u201cforget\u201d and calls her mom if anything goes awry. When the kids visit their father for the summer he says being around Lola is like having his ex-wife in the house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lola, now 15, is also the same age her mother was when she got engaged. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Arway fled her homeland of South Sudan with her family when the country\u2019s second civil war broke out. With the help of Arway\u2019s older sister, the family relocated to Egypt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It was there, when Arway was getting ice cream from a store, that the future father of her kids saw her and followed her home. He went back later with his elders to ask Arway\u2019s parents for her hand in marriage. In Sudanese culture men don\u2019t \u201ctalk to the girl first, you talk to her parents,\u201d Arway explained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Three months later they were married. When Arway was 16, she gave birth to Lola. Shortly after, her family moved to Arizona to join her sister, who sponsored their visa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt wasn\u2019t hard when we moved here because I had a family, I had my sister,\u201d Arway said. \u201cThe hardest part was the language.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When Lola was an infant, Arway tried to frantically explain in Arabic to a 911 operator that her baby was teething and having a fever. All she could get across was, \u201cBaby! Baby!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Too old to enroll in high school and with English as a Second Language classes at capacity, Arway learned English the same as her daughter \u2014 watching subtitled episodes of Barney &amp; Friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Arway\u2019s relationship with the father of her kids was like \u201cwalking through fire.\u201d He dictated the way she\u2019d dress, where she\u2019d go and who she\u2019d speak with. Her mother and sister were on the no-call list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s how marriage is,\u201d Arway\u2019s mom told her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When Arway became pregnant with her fourth child her doctor said she needed to reduce stress due to a high-risk pregnancy. Miscarriage or stillbirth was a possibility. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Arway had to leave. Looking at Google Maps, she found Rochester, New York, a 38-hour drive from Arizona. She thought it seemed far enough. So she packed the van with her three kids, $300 and drove for three days straight. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI knew he wouldn\u2019t find me here,\u201d she explained to the women\u2019s shelter who helped her in Rochester. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aiden \u201cYai\u201d Mil was born on Halloween in 2010. After his 6-week checkup, Arway returned to Arizona to divorce her husband. In Sudanese tradition, divorce is almost unheard of; once you break the marriage, community trust and respect also get broken. But Arway couldn\u2019t let her kids, especially her daughters, grow up thinking their parents\u2019 relationship is what marriage is supposed to be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_03-732x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-210\" width=\"366\" height=\"512\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_03-732x1024.jpg 732w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_03-214x300.jpg 214w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_03-768x1075.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_03.jpg 1072w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 366px) 100vw, 366px\" \/><figcaption>By 2012, Jan-Juba Arway was newly single and living in Arizona. She was also working toward her associate&#8217;s degree in criminal justice and corrections from Glendale Community College. (Courtesy of Jan-Juba Arway)<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>After leaving her husband, Arway went after an education. First, a GED, then college full time. She earned associate and bachelor degrees in criminal justice. Aiming at a law program, Arway moved to Syracuse with her kids, but she ended up at the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University<strong> <\/strong>because of a bet. She came out $100 richer, and this summer she\u2019s expected to receive her master\u2019s in public relations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Arway has no family in Syracuse. Leaving behind her mother and sister \u2014 her \u201ctribe\u201d \u2014 was the most difficult decision she had to make. Though Arway is active in the Sudanese community in Syracuse \u2014 she works with the nonprofits New American Women\u2019s Empowerment and Empower Interpretation Services of CNY \u2014 she\u2019s an outsider. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Arway says she has one friend in Syracuse, a woman her age with an open-minded husband. People keep their distance from the divorcee. She said husbands tell their wives they can\u2019t befriend Arway because she&#8217;d be a bad influence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To them, \u201cI\u2019m a Jezebel.\u201d In modern terms, \u201ca <a href=\"https:\/\/www.urbandictionary.com\/define.php?term=THOT\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\" (opens in a new tab)\">thot<\/a>,\u201d she says, bursting into laughter. &nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Arway doesn&#8217;t regret her decision. She made them thinking of her kids, of how she could make them proud. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"727\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_10-1024x727.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-215\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_10-1024x727.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_10-300x213.jpg 300w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_10-768x545.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_10.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption>Jan-Juba Arway spends time with her kids once they come home from school. She asks her youngest, Aiden &#8220;Yai&#8221; Mil, why he has his shirt hole pulled over his head. He said he didn&#8217;t know. (Stacy Fernandez\/NextGenRadio)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns alignwide has-2-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-3 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"680\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_09-1024x680.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-214\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_09-1024x680.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_09-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_09-768x510.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_09.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption>Jan-Juba Arway and her eldest daughter Aluel &#8220;Lola&#8221; Mil look on at awards presented to Lola and Ajok &#8220;Jojo&#8221; Mil for volleyball and honor roll, respectively, hang above family portraits and graduation pictures of Arway. (Stacy Fernandez\/NextGenRadio)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"697\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_11-1024x697.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-216\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_11-1024x697.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_11-300x204.jpg 300w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_11-768x523.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_11.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption>Jan-Juba Arway releases Aiden &#8220;Yai&#8221; Mil&#8217;s face after planting a kiss on his cheek. (Stacy Fernandez\/NextGenRadio)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI can&#8217;t tell them to pursue college education when I don&#8217;t have college education. I can&#8217;t tell them not to be in an abusive relationship when I&#8217;m sitting right here and they growing up in this situation. I cannot tell them anything. It will be hypocrisy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou just gotta create your own tribe, and fortunately I have,\u201dArway said. \u201cI have people here. My house is never quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns alignfull has-2-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-4 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_07-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-212\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_07-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_07-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_07-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_07.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption>After picking up Halal food from Jerusalem Supermarket and the American food Jan-Juba Arway&#8217;s kids like from Price Rite, Arway asks the kids to unload the groceries and bring the bags into the house. The kids dutifully oblige and trail her into their home like ducklings. (Stacy Fernandez\/NextGenRadio)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"675\" src=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_12-1024x675.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-217\" srcset=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_12-1024x675.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_12-300x198.jpg 300w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_12-768x506.jpg 768w, https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/22\/2019\/05\/StacyFernandez_12.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption>Brothers Aiden &#8220;Yai&#8221; Mil (left) and Angel &#8220;Booboo&#8221; Mil share a laugh in the kitchen after preparing their after-school snacks. (Stacy Fernandez\/NextGenRadio)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Standing in the kitchen, one of the few common spaces devoid of Christmas cheer, Lola calls her mom an inspiration. But, she doesn&#8217;t want to be like her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI want to become an OB-GYN,\u201d Lola said.<br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A divorced mother of four, Jan-Juba Arway is about to earn a master\u2019s degree at Syracuse University. She knows she\u2019s ostracized in her own Sudanese community, and she\u2019s OK with that. A high-risk pregnancy and 38-hour drive pushed Jan-Juba Arway to divorce her abusive husband, despite knowing she\u2019d be ostracized in her community because if &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/syracuse2019.nextgenradio.org\/her-decisions-made-her-an-outsider-but-this-single-mother-doesnt-feel-alone\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Her decisions made her an outsider, but this single mother doesn\u2019t feel alone&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":215,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"coauthors":[7],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Her decisions made her an outsider, but this single mother doesn\u2019t feel alone - NextGenRadio Syracuse - May 2019<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A divorced mother of four, Jan-Juba Arway is about to earn a master\u2019s degree at Syracuse University. 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